What I want for Christmas

With Christmas approaching, I am especially sad. I think of all the children who still need a mom and dad. Some are in an institution or in a foster home, others are living on the streets.  All they want for Christmas is someone to call their own... a mom whom they are convinced loves them... a dad whom they can trust.

I want God to use Matt and I to love a child who needs to be loved and cared for.  We pray about what to do...  Should we continue the journey to Russia (which is VERY expensive), adopt domestically, or foster parent?  I know in my heart that God will honor any adoption route we embark on.  However, we still want to hear from Him before we take a definitive step in any direction.

I ask God what to do.  He tells me to wait and be patient... I'm not sure what He means.  Does that mean He is orchestrating something behind the scenes?  Is it ok for us to look into foster parenting?  Should we foster a baby... or should we foster an older child?

I get angry with God because He seems to be in no hurry.  I feel very hurried.  I feel VERY burdened by the number of orphans and the challenges they face.  Matt and I want to be adoptive parents so badly. I wish God would tell us what He's doing. 

Can I tell you what I want?  I want to be a mom.  I want to build a large family through adoption.  I want to have four or more kids!  I want to tell my children that they matter very much.  I want to tell them that though many people have failed them, my LORD will not fail them.  I want to teach them Math, Literature, History, and Logic (I hate science, so they are on their own in Chemistry and Biology).  I want to help them learn their purpose in life, whatever it may be.  I want to encourage them and make sure they know how valuable they are.  I want to honor their biological families and encourage our child to love and honor them too.

If feels good to write down what I want.  Gods is well acquainted with what I want and need.  I want to be faithful and have a good attitude.  Please pray that God will tell us something that is comforting. 

Still Waiting

I'm sorry I've taken so long to update our blog.  Matt and I are still praying and listening for God.  We have begun to investigate some different adoption routes (like foster parenting).  We listen closely for direction; He still says to wait and be patient.

We do not know what God's plan is for our family.  It's tough to be patient and faithful when you long for something this badly.  I feel restless many days, but my love for God has not changed.  He is the most spectacular thing I know.  He deserves all my trust because He has proven Himself to me countless times.

I love Jesus very much.

Concert and Prayers

Matt and I thoroughly enjoyed our time of worship with everyone at the concert.  But to be honest, I must also admit that my heart is broken.  Our concert did not produce the attendance we had hoped for or expected.  Many have opinions as to why.  Well-inteneded as they are, I am much too vulnerable to hear them.  I do not want to believe anything that is not true.  Matt and I need to hear directly from our God.  Is He teaching us something?  Did we miss something?  Did we do nothing wrong and this is just part of His plan? 

I am very broken right now and cannot offer much at this point.  All I know right now is this:

1.      The artists (Jimmy Needham & Kimber Rising) were INCREDIBLE.  They performed as if we had 10,000 in attendance.  They offered MUCH encouragement to Matt and I.  Our lives are blessed because of them.  I pray that God drastically grows their ventures, because they truly love and serve our LORD. 
2.      Those who came were EXTREMELY generous. And it was obvious that they had a blast and left blessed. I hope you know how very grateful we are for your support and encouragement.

There is not one doubt in my mind that Matt and I are adopting. We aren’t adopting out of compulsion but because we desperately want to!  I am devastated right now, and I’m afraid.  I have no idea what God is trying to tell Matt and I … I have no idea how we will pay for this adoption. 

Right now, we are standing still and waiting for God to tell us something.  In the meantime, I've been praying and reading His Word.  Still, nothing fascinates or comforts me like Bible study.  I am thankful that I hear Him when I read my Bible.

Will you please pray for us?

Will I not equip you?

I just got back from Manhattan where I sat for the CFE exam (Certified Fraud Examiner).  I've been studying for this certification for a few months now and am pleased to report that I am officially a CFE!

Now my energy is again focused on promoting our benefit concert.  The auditorium will seat 1400 people.  We have done everything we can think of to promote the event (emailing hundreds of local pastors and ministry leaders, Facebooking, interviewing, soliciting sponsors, and etc.) But what if our efforts are not enough?  What if only a few hundred people come?  Our community has been so supportive, yet fears still manage to creep in.

I have no idea how God will provide the money we need to finish our adoption.  The journey ahead is so exciting, but very scary.  Sometimes, I feel perfectly peaceful, other times I feel like I've gone crazy.  I often find myself begging God to grow my faith.  It's shameful considering how faithful He has been to Matt and I.  God says the most comforting things to me.  A few days ago, He asked me a series of questions:  Tiffany, have I not called you to adopt?  Do I not have a child planned for you and Matt?  Do you think that I will not equip you and Matt with everything you need?

Wow!  God will equip us... He is equipping us.  I don't know how He will pull this off, but I am reminded of His faithfulness.  I love Him so much.

I want the BJHS auditorium filled to capacity, but not becuase our adoption depends on it.  This is why:  I know that God is coming to our concert... I mean, the most famous person there has ever been is coming to our concert!!  His name is, Jesus; and I'm telling you, He wouldn't miss this concert for anything!  God is going to have a blast becuase we are all gathered in one place, at one time, to worship Him!  And He deserves all of our praise. 

Our adoption is in His hands.  Our concert is in His hands too.

Benefit Concert Opener - KIMBER RISING!!!

I am so thrilled to tell you that KIMBER RISING will be opening for JIMMY NEEDHAM.

http://www.kimberrising.com/

Sisters, Amanda and Brianna Wilcox and Emille Crawford have performed over 300 concerts and toured with the likes of Todd Agnew, Building 429 and 33Miles. They’ve also opened for Mandisa, Natalie Grant, LeCrae, David Crowder Band, among other respected artists.

Be prepared to hear STUNNING harmonies!!!  It was really hard for me to choose the right video to entice you, but I settled on this one because I LOVE them a capella style.  This impromptu performance is not their studio version, but I want you to hear them sing with no instrunment other than the one God gave them!

Introducing Kimber's Rising's origianl song, Soon

"Hold on just a little bit longer
Even though the longing in your heart gets stronger
Soon now, it's gonna be soon now, yeah."

Lord,
You know the longing in my heart better than anyone.  We just want to love the child You planned for us.  Sometimes I let anxiety overwhelm me... and then Your peace comes flooding in.  Thank you so much for giving us Jimmy Needham and Kimber Rising.  Their support, everyone's support, is an answer to prayer.  I can hold on just a little bit longer because You will unite us with our little ones soon.  You are so good to Matt and I.

I Love you,
Tiff 



Benefit Concert with JIMMY NEEDHAM!

Please go to our Benefit Concert tab to learn more about our fundraiser with Christian recording artist, JIMMY NEEDHAM!!!!

One of my favorites! Unfailing Love

Benefit Concert: Jimmy Needham!!!!!

I am THRILLED to announce that Christian singer/songwriter, JIMMY NEEDHAM, is performing at a benefit concert to support our adoption!  Matt and I consider this such a miracle and an answer to prayer.  I am such a HUGE fan of his!  His style of music is very unique to him.  Many of you are very familiar with Jimmy Needham, as you hear his music on Christian stations all day long.  Those of you who are not yet familiar, I am CERTAIN you will become an instant fan!
 
The concert will be on SATURDAY, OCTOBER 8th at Bob Jones High School Auditorium.  I will share more details as they are solidified.
 
HELP Marketing:
I am preparing a promo video (roughly 2-2.5 minutes).  I should have it completed by Sept 5th.   Also, I am designing some flyers.  I am going to attempt to get some local radio stations involved
 
HOW YOU CAN HELP:
1.)    Please pray for our event.  Pray that we are stuffed to capacity (1400 guests).  Pray that God will use Jimmy Needham’s music to draw people closer to Him. 
2.)    Attend our event  J
3.)    Pass out flyers & show promo:  If you live within 100 miles of Huntsville AL, and are willing, will you please email me your contact info?  I would like to email (or mail) you our concert flyer and our promo video.  You could share this information with your church, workplace, friends, and families. 
 
Email me at PittmanAdoption@gmail.com
Please include:  Name, email, phone number, and mailing address.  Also, let me know if you prefer to receive the information by mail, email, or both.
 
4.)    Email me with any marketing ideas you may have (perhaps you have some contacts that would be interested in helping us market our event)
5.)    SPONSORS:  We would welcome any person or business who is willing to help us sponsor this event.  We would also be proud to express our appreciation for our sponsors at the concert.  Please email me if you are interested.
6.)    IF YOU HAVE ADOPTED, please email me a picture of your family.  I would like to use these “success stories” in our slide show.
 
Final Thoughts:
Right now, we are thinking that the concert will be a non-ticketed event.  It will likely begin at 7:30 or 8pm, with doors opening one hour prior.  Our church will be accepting donations on our behalf at the door, therefore donations will be tax deductible (our church will pay our adoption agency directly).  Lastly, we have contacted another artist to be the “opening act.”  I will let you know more if this person is able to join us (say a prayer, please). 
 
Finally, GOD IS GOOD!  I am overwhelmed by His faithfulness to us.

Defender

I’ve been reading about the plight of Russia’s orphans… the reviews are mixed.  Some of these children’s circumstances are horrific, others seem to be at least adequately cared for.  BUT, regardless of the level of care, these children have nothing that belongs to them.  Even the clothing they wear does not belong to them, much less a mommy or daddy to call their own.

I don’t know who God is giving us… I don’t even know if we are getting a boy or a girl.  Maybe He will give us one of each!  :)  I desperately want to hold them and tell them that Matt and I belong to them, forever.  In the meantime, I pray.  I pray that God protects them.  I pray that He gives them pleasant dreams.  I pray that He makes them unafraid; I hope He whispers the most comforting words to them.  I hope He tells them that we are coming.

There is a BEAUTIFUL song by singer/songwriter, Chris McClarney, called, Defender.   This song echoes everything I know to be true about God.  When I am afraid or worried, I can lay my cares at His feet and fix my eyes on Him.  All the hopes Matt and I have for our little one are hidden in Him; and He is our Little One’s Defender.

I hope you will take time to listen to Chris McClarney (lyrics are pasted below)!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ouFAuaQhnU



Resting in Your promise
I will rest within the knowledge that You care
I put my trust in You
Deep within the darkness
Though my enemies surround I will not fear
I put my trust in You

And when I don't know what to do
I will fix my eyes on You

You’re our defender
I hide my hope in You
You are the loving arms my broken heart can run to
I will remember
That there is nothing You can't do
For You are God, You are good
And I surrender
You're our defender

You are strong when I am weakest
You're the peace that passes everything I see
I put my trust in You
I'm surrendering completely
Laying all my cares here at Your feet
I put my trust in You

A mighty fortress is our God
I will not fear, I will not fear
Safe and secure here in Your love
I will not fear, I will not fear

Direction... and Benefit Concert

Bob Jones High School has agreed to host a benefit concert for us.  They have suggested the dates of October 7th or 8th (Friday or Saturday).  I am very grateful for my former high school.

I'm looking for musical talent for our concert...obviously I'm under a time crunch.  It's especially difficult to find talent when you are planning a benefit concert and therefore unable to pay the artists what they are most definitely worth.  I'm asking God to give us direction... and even a miracle.

I still get very embarrassed every time a write a new post.  Some posts embarrass me more than others, and I find myself wishing no one would read this blog. I'm ashamed to admit this since you all have been so supportive and encouraging.  I know this:  God is more concerned with fulfilling His purpose than He is about catering to our comfort level, isn't He?  LOL :)

I am feeling a lot of mixed emotions.  I feel worried and anxious about making the right decisions for our adoption (i.e. the right agency, funding...).  But, I always feel grateful and joyful.  I am profoundly grateful that God has a baby planned for Matt and I.  I feel overjoyed every time I think of pur little one. 

Sometimes in life, you feel like you are just stumbling along.  Maybe you feel out of place or misunderstood.  Ever since God revealed adoption to us, I feel like I'm exactly where I'm suppose to be, and doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.  I know that our baby is worth whatever challenges await us.  Of course, God gives me the confidence to say this.  With Him, EVERYTHING is made possible!

Help! Finding the Right Agency - Russia Licensed

Our home study is nearly complete.  We are just waiting for a couple of forms to arrive and the final report will be signed.  Since our agency is not licensed in Russia, we have to find a different agency to conduct the remainder of our international adoption.  By the way, we have LOVED using Lifeline for our contract home study (www.lifelineadoption.org).  We have nothing but glowing things to say about Lifeline, and we would definitely use them if we were going to adopt from Ukraine.
 
Below is a list of US agencies licensed in Russia (none of which are in Alabama, sadly).  We feel overwhelmed.  We have requested information packets from many of them, and tried to read reviews online.  Some of the reviews are mixed, therefore, we are having a difficult time deciding.  Any assistance or reviews that you can provide will be MUCH appreciated.
List of Adoption Agencies accredited with the Ministry of Education and Science of the Russian Federation as of April 20, 2011:
1.    ABC Adoption Services, Inc.
2.    Adopt-A-Child, Inc.
3.    Adoption Associates, Inc.
4.    Adoption Center of Washington
5.    Adoption Options
6.    Adoptions Together, Inc.
7.    Alaska International Adoption Agency
8.    Alliance for Children
9.    American International Adoption Agency, Inc.
10. Americans for International Aid and Adoption
11. Beacon House Adoption Services, Inc.
12. Buckner Adoption and Maternity Services, Inc.
13. Catholic Social Services of the Diocese of Charlotte, North Carolina, Inc.
14. Children's Home Society and Family Services
15. Children's Hope International
16. Christian World Adoption
17. Creative Adoptions, Inc.
18. DOVE Adoptions International, Inc.
19. European Adoption Consultants
20. Families Thru International Adoption
21. Frank Adoption Center
22. Florence Crittenton League of Lowell
23. Gladney Center for Adoption
24. Global Adoption Services, Inc.
25. Good Hope Adoption Services, Inc.
26. Hand in Hand
27. Happy Families International Center
28. Homestudies and Adoption Placement Services, Inc.
29. International Assistance Group
30. International Christian Adoptions
31. Life Adoption Services, Inc.
32. Lutheran Social Services of Wisconsin and Upper Michigan, Inc.
33. New Hope Christian Services
34. Small World Adoption Foundation of Missouri, Inc.
35. Wide Horizons for Children
36. World Association for Children and Parents (WACAP)
37. World Child International
38. World Links
39. Wyoming Children’s Society
 
 
 

Russia...Benefit Concert

Matt and I have been praying about where God wants us to go for our adoption.  We feel very drawn to Easter Europe, and therefore feel like we will ultimately go to Russia. 

http://www.frua.org/countries/russia
About Russia, Source:  Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoptions (FRUA)

I began researching agencies in the US that are licensed in Russia (there is only abut 30).  I felt overwhelmed until I ran across an agency in Cheyenne, WY.

http://www.wyomingcs.org/

Matt and I were in Cheyenne for 3+ years while he was serving in the Air Force.  I called the agency and was very impressed with their Russian adoption program.  Ironically, I was reading about the Board of Directors and saw the name, Janet Taylor.  I led a Bible Study in Cheyenne that Janet attended; naturally, I called Janet to get some more information, and she had glowing things to say about their program.  I'm very anxious to get started with them. 

Benefit Concert:
It's about $40,000 to adopt from Russia after all relevant fees and traveling expenses; While Matt and I saving very hard, we will still have to do some fund raising.

We are in the midst of planning a benefit concert.  Mr. Craft, the AMAZING Performing Arts teacher, is allowing us to rent the BJHS Auditorium.  He has been very encouraging and supportive, and I am very grateful.

We are looking for a weekend date in September or October.  I will keep you posted as I learn more details.  Keep us in your prayers, please.

Knowing and Missing

I told God that I love Him today.  I think I heard Him tell me that He misses me.  What a strange thing for God to say.  After all, He knows me intimately and perfectly already. I have been pondering what this could mean, and came across this verse:                

     1 Corinthians 13:12             
     For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.               

Ancient mirrors were made from polished metal (such as bronze), and thus one's reflection was more “dim” than in modern mirrors. “Face to face” references Christ’s return.  Additionally, the OT uses the phrase “face to face,” to refer to seeing God personally; cf. Gen. 32:30; Ex. 33:11; Deut. 5:4; 34:10; Judg. 6:22; Ezek. 20:35.

God longs for the day when I will be with Him, face to face; the day He brings me to my forever home.  Then, I will know Him fully, without my humanly, earthly, limitations.  I know that I miss God, but in my earthly knowledge, I cannot imagine what knowing Him fully will be like.  The amazing-ness is incomprehensible to me.  But, God knows what it will be like for He and I, and He longs for it.

The God of all that is, or ever was, longs to be with me!  It makes me cry when I think about how much He loves me.  I miss HIM very much.  The fact that I am not with Him, face to face, means that His plans for me on Planet Earth are not yet complete.  I can’t help but think of the son or daughter He has planned for us.  I miss you  little one; I am so anxious to meet you and get to know you.  I don’t know you yet, but my Lord knows you very well.

God's Provision and Gymnastics

Matt and I are still waiting for God to tell us where to go to adopt.

Matthew 6:34
So do not be anxious about tomorrow; for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Waiting on the Lord each day is VERY hard when you want something this badly.  It’s hard to wait on God’s direction when you don’t know how many more tomorrows are in store before He tells you the next step.  This verse from Matthew is very fitting.  I hope God speaks up soon because I am becoming increasingly tempted to coerce friends and strangers into giving me one of their children. LOL!  I’m definitely kidding.  We are trying to put together some fundraisers, so I will keep you posted.

I have been feeling very sad and anxious, so I went to see my former gymnastics coach, Debbie Santos.  She began coaching me when I 6 yrs old; I adore and love this woman more than I can convey.  My gymnastics career ended the summer before my senior year when I had my second back surgery.  I broke my back in a car accident, not gymnastics.  I have been coaching competitive gymnastics off and on for years, and Debbie has always extended an open invitation to return.

My intention last night was only to visit my gymnasts and talk to my former coach.  From the instant I walked into the gym, I was happy… I felt like I belonged here.  My girls were stretching and I was desperately trying to watch rather than correct their form.  It was impossible.  I approached Debbie and asked her if she could use an additional coach.  She answered with an emphatic YES!  I could not begin coaching last night… I was still in my business suit and heels.  BUT, I will begin coaching the competitive girls on Tuesday and Thursday evenings!

Philippians 4:19
And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
I am overjoyed.  God knows that I “need” to parent, and coaching is the next best thing!  God supplied the avenue that will fulfill me while I wait for His direction on where to go for our adoption.  I am in love with my God; His provision is always perfect. 

Please visit my gymnastics academy:  http://www.southernstatesgymnastics.com/

I will likely post videos and pictures of them in the near future!

To the Birth Mothers

A Lifeline social worker (Margo) said something to Matt and I that I have not forgotten.  She said that adoption is almost always "crisis oriented...bittersweet."  I had never considered this.  She continued, explaining that no mother wants to carry and deliver her baby only to give him or her over to a practical stranger.  Is this not especially true in the U.S., where abortions are relatively inexpensive and an available option?  In other words, if a mother carries her baby to term, she more than likely wanted to keep her baby!

Side Note:  Please understand, I don't mean to diminish or offend the mother who has chosen abortion.  I can't imagine such a decision is ever entered into lightly.  I also imagine that such a decision is intensely painful... and a host of other conflicting emotions.  My sincere prayer is that such a mother finds answers, forgiveness, acceptance, and peace from the man who loves her more than his own life.  Jesus.

My intent is only to highlight my new admiration for birth parents.  I was, admittedly, very naive about the heartache and challenges birth mothers face.  They may endure pressure from their partner (spouse or boyfriend) to abort their baby.  Perhaps the mother is in an abusive relationship.  Maybe she feels pressure to keep a baby she feels she cannot adequately care for.  The birth mother may be an adolescent; therefore, she may endure stares and judgements from her peers as she carries her baby to term.  Sadly, she may desperately want to keep her baby but cannot afford to take care of him or her.  As I consider the possible circumstances, I too have concluded that the adoption decision is almost always crisis oriented.

I now have much respect for birth mothers.  I think the mother who carries and delivers her baby is very brave. 

Through the miracle of adoption, God is giving Matt and I a child.  However, it has not gone unnoticed that our child belonged to someone before he or she belonged to me.  I can only think of a couple words to describe how this bittersweet journey makes me feel:  Inexplicably grateful, and even these words feel wholly inadequate.

As the church, the body of Christ, we need to seek-out opportunities to help our expectant and/or struggling mothers.  We need to come along side them.  We need to serve them and love them the way Christ loved us, and gave Himself up for us.  I'm not certain what this will look like in your life; perhaps you will assist financially, offer counseling, or who knows?  Maybe you will one day adopt!?!

HE called Matt and I to adoption... and I promise you, I didn't see this one coming!  But I am so so grateful that He did!

Psalm 130:5-6 - "The Waiting Room"

Our final home study interview is complete!  There is nothing else left for Matt and I to do except begin the international part of our adoption, which means we apply to an adoption agency licensed in our desired country.  The problem is that we don't know where God wants us to go... Do we go to Ukraine for a 5-6 yr old?  Russia for a baby? Or somewhere else entirely?  Until God tells us the next step, we are at a complete standstill.  Ever since Ukraine passed new and unexpected legislation, we have been asking God where He will have us go...

I have been heartbroken for the last few weeks, to be honest.  I'm ready to charge through and immediately start preparing our dossier for international adoption.  I've begged God for answers, but all He says is "Wait for Me."  What?  Why wait?  You've planned a child for us who is already out there... why are we waiting? 

I came across a verse in Psalms this morning:

Psalm 130:5-6

“I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope. My soul waits for the Lord More than the watchmen for the morning; Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning,”

The psalmist is comparing waiting expectantly on the Lord to night guards of the city who wait for sunrise.  Since a seige was more probable under the cloak of darkness, the night guards had much cause to be especially vigilant.  They watched in anticipation of the coming dawn when they would be released from duty. The coming of the dawn was certain, but not without the passage of time.

Waiting on the Lord inevitably means enduring some passage of time.  That waiting includes the concept of hope is why the Hebrew word qavah is sometimes translated “hope” or “look expectantly,” and why yacha, which means “to wait” can mean either “wait” or “hope.”

Matt and I are waiting for God's direction... He gave us His word that He is going to give us a child.  This is His promise to Matt and I, and our hope is rooted in the fact that God has always been faithful to us.

God told me this morning that, Waiting means confident expectation... Matt and I may not know where our little one is, but we can confidently expect that God will keep His word, and reveal all at the right time.

Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I feel more confident, less anxious now.  However, I will continue to make my request known to Him.  I will still ask Him throughout the day for direction... but I will try not to beg out of desperation any longer.

God is so good to us, despite ourselves.  Pray for us when you think to.

SVETA JOSIE HOUSER:  On an end note, my dear friends, the Housers, have returned from Ukraine with their new addition:  Svetlana "Josie" HOUSER!  I know that Peyton and Paige welcomed their new sister with much excitement.  Their journey has not been without heartache either, but in the end, it's all worth it.  Sveta Josie is with her forever family!  http://www.followusthere.blogspot.com/

Russia... Ukraine...?

As I mentioned in the last post, Ukraine passed new legislation.  If we adopt from Ukraine, we will have to adopt a 5-yr old child or older.  Additionally, Ukraine is making some adjustments that will slow and/or halt international adoptions for an indefinite period.

We are praying and asking God what to do.  We know we feel very drawn to Eastern Europe... so we are investigating other countries. When we began this journey, we wanted to go to Russia, but our adoption agency isn't licensed in Russia; They do facilitate Ukrainian adoptions, so we thought Ukraine would be the clear choice.  We are CRAZY about our adoption agency, Lifeline Children Services (http://www.liflineadoption.org/).  They are conducting a contract home study for us.  Our social worker, Gisella, is soooo amazing; we adore her.  She has made this difficult process much easier. 

Anyway, we settled on Ukraine because (1) Lifeline has an amazing Ukraine coordinator, named Jana; (2) the country is part of Easter Europe; and (3) our church friends, the Housers, are adopting from the Ukraine.

Side Note:  The Housers are in Ukraine right now!  They will bring home their little girl sometime within the next few weeks!!!!  You can follow them at www.FollowUsThere.blogspot.com

From my research thus far, a Russian adoption will be much more expensive.  However, we could adopt a 1-3 year old, which has always been our prayer. 

I don't know what God has in store for us.  All Matt and I really want is just the child that He planned for us, wherever he or she may be.  Please pray that God will tell us what to do and where to go. 

I'm an accountant; Additionally, I was raised to be very fiscally responsible.  It's really important to Matt and I that we be good stewards of the money He has given us.  Please pray that He will help us find a way to fund this adoption and still be good stewards.  It may seem like a bizarre request, but it's on my mind most everyday.

Lots-of -Love!

PS - I'm very humbled that you are following us on this journey.  I'm still stunned that anyone would read our blog.

Prayers for Direction

HELP!:  I'm sorry I haven't posted anything.  Matt and I are feeling really defeated and confused right now.  Ukraine has passed new legislation which requires the orphan to "be at least 5 years old before they are eligible for intercountry adoption."  WOW!  We were not anticipating adopting a 5-6 yr. old.  We thought we were going to the Ukraine to adopt a 2-4 yr. old.  We feel really sad, to be honest. 

Ukraine Legislation Link:  http://adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_alerts_notices.php?alert_notice_type=notices&alert_notice_file=ukraine_9

We both felt like God was leading us to Ukraine.  Now, I feel stupid; I feel crazy.  What if HE did not say Ukraine?  What if HE did and we are going to be the parents of a 5 yr old....  That just makes me cry because we will have already missed so much of their life!

I don't know what God has planned.  Matt and I are begging God to be very clear with us and give us direction.  I have journeyed with God through enough crisis to know that HE is always faithful to finish the good work HE begins (Philippians 1:6).  HE knows that I am worried and confused, and sad.

Please pray for Matt and I as we ask God what to do.  We don't know if we are still going to Ukraine or if we need to look at other countries.  We need to decide within the next couple of weeks.  I know our little one is out there.

On a Positive Note:  Our Home Study is going well.  We meet with Gisella (our social worker) this Thursday to discuss mine and Matt's parenting philosophy.  The books assigned by our adoption agency, Lifeline, have been really helpful.  They are teaching us the difference between parenting a biological child versus an adopted child.  Maybe I will talk more about that at a later date.

Home Study - Round 1

We had our first home study visit with our assigned social worker, Gisella, on Friday.  Before you can adopt (or foster parent), you have to complete a series of interviews and an INSANE amount of paperwork.  Did you think buying a house was a lot paperwork?  Me too, until now.  I could buy 20 houses and not have as much paperwork to fill out.  LOL. But the end result makes it all worth it.

Our appointment was 9am at our house and was to last 2-3 hours.  Matt and I took the morning off.  Side note - Matt and I have to wear business attire to work every day.  He looks very handsome in his suit and tie, but he lives life in shorts and a t-shirt.

I wore a blue dress and sandals.  Would you please guess what Matt chose to wear on this day... the day we make our first impression on the lady who approves us for a child?  Matt had on shorts and a t-shirt that says, 70's Big.com!  What!?!  I was panicked!  I said to Matt, "We are interviewing for BABY, not a litter of kittens!"  Ultimately, he settled on shorts and a polo shirt.  What are you going to do?

Gisella is amazing.  (PS - she wore a dress, leggings, and flats).  She is beautiful, sweet, honest, positive, and forthcoming.  More than this, she is also a Christian!  She asked very thoughtful questions.  I think our first interview went really well.  Round 1 complete!  Our next round of interviews are individual and scheduled over the next two weeks.  Moving right along.

Adoption Parenting: Prepare me or Scare me?

Our adoption agency has assigned us two books to read.  If you don't know me well, you may not know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE to read.  I read several books every month...  If you open any of my books, you will see portions of the text highlighted and notes in the margin.  Perhaps that is why I rarely read fiction - what is there to write in the margins?

The first book is titled, Adoption Parenting (by MacLeod and Macrae).  This book serves two purposes:

1. A Resource Manual
2. A Reality Check/Scare Tactic

The book is in deed an incredible reference.  It gives an adoptive parent guidance on facing a multitude of challenges.  Additionally, the book points the reader to other resources should we need additional help.

However, I can't decide if this book is giving me a reality check or trying to scare me.  I'm sure it's the former, but I have learned that there are more challenges ahead than I had initially anticipated.  I'm only 87 pages in (the book is roughly 500 pages), and already I'm worried that our child will suffer from attachment issues, developmental delays, speech delays, sleeping disorders... the list goes on.  Is the book trying to prepare me or scare me?

I cannot imagine how afraid I would be if I could not find rest with God.  HE comforts me.  He reminds me that He is in control.  I don' know what challenges are ahead.  I do know that my God has proven Himself faithful to me countless times.  I cannot trust myself, but I can most definitely trust the One, the only One, who has never failed me.  Jesus, You are my constant companion.  :)

I pray, Lord, that you will keep our little one safe.  The book says that our child will suffer developmental delays because he or she spends so much time alone... in an institution.  This breaks my heart.  Aloneness.  Lord, You have never been alone.  There has always been community in the Trinity.  I pray that You will comfort our little one.  Make Your presence well known.  Talk to him or her.  Give her pleasant dreams.  Develop him with Your hands.  I'm asking You to do much more for our little one than I can think to pray for.  He or she belongs to You first.  If You will care for and comfort our little one, what do I have to be afraid of? 

NOTHING!

Blogging

What is the point of a blog if you aren't going to blog?  Our friends say that people will want to know how our adoption is coming along.  "WE MUST START A BLOG," they say.

My baby sister made this blog for Matt and I.   Thank you, Courtney! 

I am VERY uncomfortable with blogging.  Blogging feels like tweeting to me.  I've never seen twitter, but I think I understand the purpose.  Truthfully, I think it's a bit arrogant to assume that people really want to read your stream of consciousness.  I am uncomfortable blogging becuase I'm afraid that people will think I'm presumptuous too. 

My husband tweets.  Lord knows what; I do not.  Matt is like my sister, an open book.  He'll tell you whatever you want to know.  I am intensely private and easily embarrassed.  I purposefully avoid his Facebook page because I feel certain that I will only feel humiliated if I read it.  There is no imagining what he writes on there.  My sister told me he tweeted a picture of his breakfast once... I mean, WHAT!?  I'm sure he'll post on here too.  I need to prepare for the worst.  Matt, go easy on me. :)

I want to become a blogger, at least for the sake of our little one.  We don't know you yet, little one.  But I want the record (or blog) to show that we are expecting you, planning for you, praying for you!
-Tiffany