With Christmas approaching, I am especially sad. I think of all the children who still need a mom and dad. Some are in an institution or in a foster home, others are living on the streets. All they want for Christmas is someone to call their own... a mom whom they are convinced loves them... a dad whom they can trust.
I want God to use Matt and I to love a child who needs to be loved and cared for. We pray about what to do... Should we continue the journey to Russia (which is VERY expensive), adopt domestically, or foster parent? I know in my heart that God will honor any adoption route we embark on. However, we still want to hear from Him before we take a definitive step in any direction.
I ask God what to do. He tells me to wait and be patient... I'm not sure what He means. Does that mean He is orchestrating something behind the scenes? Is it ok for us to look into foster parenting? Should we foster a baby... or should we foster an older child?
I get angry with God because He seems to be in no hurry. I feel very hurried. I feel VERY burdened by the number of orphans and the challenges they face. Matt and I want to be adoptive parents so badly. I wish God would tell us what He's doing.
Can I tell you what I want? I want to be a mom. I want to build a large family through adoption. I want to have four or more kids! I want to tell my children that they matter very much. I want to tell them that though many people have failed them, my LORD will not fail them. I want to teach them Math, Literature, History, and Logic (I hate science, so they are on their own in Chemistry and Biology). I want to help them learn their purpose in life, whatever it may be. I want to encourage them and make sure they know how valuable they are. I want to honor their biological families and encourage our child to love and honor them too.
If feels good to write down what I want. Gods is well acquainted with what I want and need. I want to be faithful and have a good attitude. Please pray that God will tell us something that is comforting.
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Hey Tiffany, This is Christie. Thanks for your comment today. I wanted to be sure you'd get my reply so I am leaving a comment here. Your blog is wonderful! I am so sorry you have been discouraged! I can imagine what a frustrating place you are in right now. It's hard to know exactly how to respond since I don't know all your specifics, but if I could remind you of a few things as a way of encouragement.
ReplyDeletePursuing adoption is a walk of faith and that pleases the Lord. If the Lord is having you wait, then waiting in faith will also please Him! As you have said, He as always been faithful to you and your husband. He won't let you down! I look forward to keeping up with His story! In this together! :) Christie