Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Adoption Parenting: Prepare me or Scare me?

Our adoption agency has assigned us two books to read.  If you don't know me well, you may not know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE to read.  I read several books every month...  If you open any of my books, you will see portions of the text highlighted and notes in the margin.  Perhaps that is why I rarely read fiction - what is there to write in the margins?

The first book is titled, Adoption Parenting (by MacLeod and Macrae).  This book serves two purposes:
  1. A Resource Manual
  2. A Reality Check/Scare Tactic
The book is in deed an incredible reference.  It gives an adoptive parent guidance on facing a multitude of challenges.  Additionally, the book points the reader to other resources should we need additional help.

However, I can't decide if this book is giving me a reality check or trying to scare me.  I'm sure it's the former, but I have learned that there are more challenges ahead than I had initially anticipated.  I'm only 87 pages in (the book is roughly 500 pages), and already I'm worried that our child will suffer from attachment issues, developmental delays, speech delays, sleeping disorders... the list goes on.  Is the book trying to prepare me or scare me?

I cannot imagine how afraid I would be if I could not find rest with God.  HE comforts me.  He reminds me that He is in control.  I don' know what challenges are ahead.  I do know that my God has proven Himself faithful to me countless times.  I cannot trust myself, but I can most definitely trust the One, the only One, who has never failed me.  Jesus, You are my constant companion.  :)

I pray, Lord, that you will keep our little one safe.  The book says that our child will suffer developmental delays because he or she spends so much time alone... in an institution.  This breaks my heart.  Aloneness.  Lord, You have never been alone.  There has always been community in the Trinity.  I pray that You will comfort our little one.  Make Your presence well known.  Talk to him or her.  Give her pleasant dreams.  Develop him with Your hands.  I'm asking You to do much more for our little one than I can think to pray for.  He or she belongs to You first.  If You will care for and comfort our little one, what do I have to be afraid of? 

NOTHING!
Posted by Matt & Tiffany at 9:05 PM

4 comments:

  1. Kim HouserJune 2, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    Use the adoption parenting one as a reference only!! lol. The other one will freak you out even more though..sorry..but it's OKAY! You are walking in faith, not fear. We read the books and they did stir up alot of concerns but mostly I think it's to help families realize there are things we all may face...but we have the biggest adovcate - God! So so glad you guys are embarking on this journey! Oh...did you see we have big news?? Its a whirlwind here!

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  2. Robin Rice CampbellJune 3, 2011 at 8:52 PM

    There is no need to worry about all these things the books are trying to prepare you for. Yes, the child may have a speech impediment or get scared at night if they are older but its nothing that a lot of love and encouragement can't fix!! Speaking as an adoptee, sometimes I think Rosie and as well as Kari and Russ (because we are complete opposite from each other… me from Rosie and Kari from Russ) are some of the best examples of adoption as well as nature vs nurture, proving that nurture wins out. The way you raise your child and show them undying love and support will always triumph over all difficulties! God is incredible at how he’ll par you with the right child and knowing that he will never give you anything you can’t handle. God is all over this, he is in every aspect of your adoption and he is AMAZING! I am so excited for y’all and I can’t wait to share this special bond with your child! I love you both so much!

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  3. AnonymousJune 6, 2011 at 10:11 AM

    Tiff-- it is 100% okay to be anxious! Just remember God WILL NOT give you anything you can not handle. He is the ultimate advocate. Do not be fearful for fear is not from the Lord. Do not let Satan lead you to believe that you are anything less that the perfect child of God that you are. You and Matt are wonderful children of God let Him be the guiding light in this journey. I have no doubts in my mind that you will do all the scholarly things that need to be done to prepare for your miracle, but only you and the Lord know what is best for your child. Don't take the readings too seriously. My prayers for you and Matt are abundant. I love you both much and cannot wait for this journey to continue!
    --Rosalie

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  4. natalieJune 21, 2011 at 11:02 AM

    hi!
    found your page while looking for families adopting w/lifeline (we're doing a domestic adoption through them).
    i wouldn't let that book scare you--they're just trying to prepare you IF something like that happens. i'm adopted and while yes, i was a little fearful at night growing up (i thought my birth parents were going to come and try to take me back...isn't that crazy?), i was just your "average" kid. and now that we're adopting i'm going to try to remember that as well when we are blessed with one--though easier said than done (we have a bio daughter and i already freak out about every little thing she does/doesn't do...HA!).
    anyway, just wanted to let you know that i'm thinking and praying for y'all! good luck and god bless!
    ~natalie

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