God Spoke... My rain is coming!

     This post will be especially long, but I haven't written anything for almost 3 months.  I want to tell you how God finally spoke to me last week.  I have to tell you, He chose a somewhat bizarre method to deliver His message.  Bear with me as I quickly give the background.
    
     Beginning late last October, God became very quiet.  Before then, God talked to me all the time.  Not in an audible voice, but nonetheless, He spoke to my heart regularly.  He has been quiet for over four months now and I have been so sad and defeated by this "season."

     I have been heartbroken over our stalled adoption for months now.  I have asked God what to do.  I've asked Him for direction.  I've begged Him to speak to me.  But He says nothing.  The only thing I hear, somewhere in my spirit, is a small voice that says, "Wait.  Be patient."  Let me tell you, waiting is exhausting. 

   I had knee surgery in January after I tore my ACL coaching gymnastics.  Consequently, I've been going to physical therapy for the past couple months.  I kept seeing this same blond hair woman at my appointments.  She'd smile or sometimes say, "Hello."  To be honest, she sort of looked at me funny... like she recognized me but couldn't place me. 

   Last week, she motioned me over and said the strangest thing:  "You're going to think I'm crazy, but God told me I'm suppose to talk to you."  WOW!  That was the greatest news I had heard in the longest time.  I had been begging God to talk to me - I wish I could describe how elated I was that He was finally going to speak!

     I told her, "I'm a Christian too!  And if God told you to talk to me, I definitely want to hear what He has to say!"  As it turns out, God told her to speak to me weeks ago, but she was too afraid.  She had finally worked up the nerve.  I was so anxious to hear what God had told her.  Unfortunately, God just told her to talk to me... there was no specific message.

     I was sort of disappointed, but we decided to have lunch together and just visit.  I learned her name, which is Jennifer, and much more.  We had a great time.  I told Jennifer about some of my favorite Bible teachers.  If you don't know this already, I am a HUGE fan of Chuck Missler, Ravi Zacharias, and Beth Moore.  As it turns out, Jennifer was unfamiliar with Beth Moore.

     We parted after lunch but agreed we'd meet up again next week.  Well, a few days later, Jennifer sends me a bizarre text that says:  "You're between the rains.  Your faith is being tested.  Your rain is coming.  -This is what God told me to tell you." 

     I was so confused.  Jennifer explained that she had gone to a Beth Moore Bible study with a friend on Wednesday night.  It was Beth's newest Bible study called, Mercy Triumphs which is a Bible study on the book of James.  Beth was in the 7th lesson teaching from James 5.  I was desperate to learn what the message meant, but I needed the context.  So, I went online and downloaded the lesson to listen for myself.  I WAS BLOW AWAY!!!!

 Below is the passage that Beth was teaching from:

James 5:7-11
Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door. As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.

     Allow me to explain the passage, and I believe you'll see why I was so thrilled to hear from God.

     As the passage explains, the farmer patiently waits for the early and late rains.  Think of the rains as an outpouring of God's spirit and presence.  It's a time when he reveals Himself vividly and His presence is felt.  Until late October, I definitely felt like I was in the rains.
     According to the agrarian calendar, the early rains come in late October to early November.  The late rains don't come until April/May.  The passage above describes the season in between the early and late rains where the farmer must be patient.  During this time, the Farmer's trust (in God's provision) is tested because he so desperately depends on the late rains for his livelihood.  Ironically, every mention of "early and late rains" in the Old Testament occurs in a context affirming the faithfulness of the Lord (Deut 11, Hosea 6). 

     While we are between rains, we may not hear God's voice, Beth explains.  His presence may seem a million miles away.  Wow! This is precisely how I've felt for the last several months.  I've wandered where God went.  I've wandered why He doesn't speak to me like He did. 

     Beth explains that there comes a time when the Word of God is tested in our lives.  You cannot flood a crop and expect it to grow!  My pastor, Keith, says this "in-between" season is a time for reflection.  It's time to remember and reflect on God's faithfulness and rehearse the things God has said to us.

     This passage is such a blessing to me.  God is telling me that I'm in between my early and late rains.  He says that I am to be patient and remain steadfast.  And just as Jennifer said, my rain is coming! 

     I am so thankful that God sent this message to me through Jennifer.  What if she had not been faithful to speak to me that day in physical therapy?  If you knew what these words mean to me, you'd know how tragic that would be.  I am so thankful for Jennifer's obedience.

     I don't know how long until my late rains come.  I miss God's voice so very very much.  I will be so glad to hear His voice again.  But until then, just like the farmer, I will be patient and remain steadfast.  And thanks to Jennifer, I am energized to wait as long as it takes, because my rains are coming!