God's Provision and Gymnastics

Matt and I are still waiting for God to tell us where to go to adopt.

Matthew 6:34
So do not be anxious about tomorrow; for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Waiting on the Lord each day is VERY hard when you want something this badly.  It’s hard to wait on God’s direction when you don’t know how many more tomorrows are in store before He tells you the next step.  This verse from Matthew is very fitting.  I hope God speaks up soon because I am becoming increasingly tempted to coerce friends and strangers into giving me one of their children. LOL!  I’m definitely kidding.  We are trying to put together some fundraisers, so I will keep you posted.

I have been feeling very sad and anxious, so I went to see my former gymnastics coach, Debbie Santos.  She began coaching me when I 6 yrs old; I adore and love this woman more than I can convey.  My gymnastics career ended the summer before my senior year when I had my second back surgery.  I broke my back in a car accident, not gymnastics.  I have been coaching competitive gymnastics off and on for years, and Debbie has always extended an open invitation to return.

My intention last night was only to visit my gymnasts and talk to my former coach.  From the instant I walked into the gym, I was happy… I felt like I belonged here.  My girls were stretching and I was desperately trying to watch rather than correct their form.  It was impossible.  I approached Debbie and asked her if she could use an additional coach.  She answered with an emphatic YES!  I could not begin coaching last night… I was still in my business suit and heels.  BUT, I will begin coaching the competitive girls on Tuesday and Thursday evenings!

Philippians 4:19
And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
I am overjoyed.  God knows that I “need” to parent, and coaching is the next best thing!  God supplied the avenue that will fulfill me while I wait for His direction on where to go for our adoption.  I am in love with my God; His provision is always perfect. 

Please visit my gymnastics academy:  http://www.southernstatesgymnastics.com/

I will likely post videos and pictures of them in the near future!

To the Birth Mothers

A Lifeline social worker (Margo) said something to Matt and I that I have not forgotten.  She said that adoption is almost always "crisis oriented...bittersweet."  I had never considered this.  She continued, explaining that no mother wants to carry and deliver her baby only to give him or her over to a practical stranger.  Is this not especially true in the U.S., where abortions are relatively inexpensive and an available option?  In other words, if a mother carries her baby to term, she more than likely wanted to keep her baby!

Side Note:  Please understand, I don't mean to diminish or offend the mother who has chosen abortion.  I can't imagine such a decision is ever entered into lightly.  I also imagine that such a decision is intensely painful... and a host of other conflicting emotions.  My sincere prayer is that such a mother finds answers, forgiveness, acceptance, and peace from the man who loves her more than his own life.  Jesus.

My intent is only to highlight my new admiration for birth parents.  I was, admittedly, very naive about the heartache and challenges birth mothers face.  They may endure pressure from their partner (spouse or boyfriend) to abort their baby.  Perhaps the mother is in an abusive relationship.  Maybe she feels pressure to keep a baby she feels she cannot adequately care for.  The birth mother may be an adolescent; therefore, she may endure stares and judgements from her peers as she carries her baby to term.  Sadly, she may desperately want to keep her baby but cannot afford to take care of him or her.  As I consider the possible circumstances, I too have concluded that the adoption decision is almost always crisis oriented.

I now have much respect for birth mothers.  I think the mother who carries and delivers her baby is very brave. 

Through the miracle of adoption, God is giving Matt and I a child.  However, it has not gone unnoticed that our child belonged to someone before he or she belonged to me.  I can only think of a couple words to describe how this bittersweet journey makes me feel:  Inexplicably grateful, and even these words feel wholly inadequate.

As the church, the body of Christ, we need to seek-out opportunities to help our expectant and/or struggling mothers.  We need to come along side them.  We need to serve them and love them the way Christ loved us, and gave Himself up for us.  I'm not certain what this will look like in your life; perhaps you will assist financially, offer counseling, or who knows?  Maybe you will one day adopt!?!

HE called Matt and I to adoption... and I promise you, I didn't see this one coming!  But I am so so grateful that He did!

Psalm 130:5-6 - "The Waiting Room"

Our final home study interview is complete!  There is nothing else left for Matt and I to do except begin the international part of our adoption, which means we apply to an adoption agency licensed in our desired country.  The problem is that we don't know where God wants us to go... Do we go to Ukraine for a 5-6 yr old?  Russia for a baby? Or somewhere else entirely?  Until God tells us the next step, we are at a complete standstill.  Ever since Ukraine passed new and unexpected legislation, we have been asking God where He will have us go...

I have been heartbroken for the last few weeks, to be honest.  I'm ready to charge through and immediately start preparing our dossier for international adoption.  I've begged God for answers, but all He says is "Wait for Me."  What?  Why wait?  You've planned a child for us who is already out there... why are we waiting? 

I came across a verse in Psalms this morning:

Psalm 130:5-6

“I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope. My soul waits for the Lord More than the watchmen for the morning; Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning,”

The psalmist is comparing waiting expectantly on the Lord to night guards of the city who wait for sunrise.  Since a seige was more probable under the cloak of darkness, the night guards had much cause to be especially vigilant.  They watched in anticipation of the coming dawn when they would be released from duty. The coming of the dawn was certain, but not without the passage of time.

Waiting on the Lord inevitably means enduring some passage of time.  That waiting includes the concept of hope is why the Hebrew word qavah is sometimes translated “hope” or “look expectantly,” and why yacha, which means “to wait” can mean either “wait” or “hope.”

Matt and I are waiting for God's direction... He gave us His word that He is going to give us a child.  This is His promise to Matt and I, and our hope is rooted in the fact that God has always been faithful to us.

God told me this morning that, Waiting means confident expectation... Matt and I may not know where our little one is, but we can confidently expect that God will keep His word, and reveal all at the right time.

Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I feel more confident, less anxious now.  However, I will continue to make my request known to Him.  I will still ask Him throughout the day for direction... but I will try not to beg out of desperation any longer.

God is so good to us, despite ourselves.  Pray for us when you think to.

SVETA JOSIE HOUSER:  On an end note, my dear friends, the Housers, have returned from Ukraine with their new addition:  Svetlana "Josie" HOUSER!  I know that Peyton and Paige welcomed their new sister with much excitement.  Their journey has not been without heartache either, but in the end, it's all worth it.  Sveta Josie is with her forever family!  http://www.followusthere.blogspot.com/